It’s an issue that parents face almost every day. Feelings of guilt over leaving their children in day care. But you shouldn’t have to deal with these concerns and anxieties on your own. We’re here to help out. A child’s reaction to being left in the care of strangers can make a parent feel even worse about this often very necessary decision.
This will be a difficult time for both you and your child, one that can be made a lot easier by taking certain steps to alleviate your child’s feelings of fear and your feelings of guilt and sadness over witnessing their meltdown as you walk away.
Reducing your feelings of guilt over this decision can start with knowing you have chosen the best caregiver possible. That means doing the research, pinpointing the best candidates, asking the questions that will give you that peace of mind knowing you are placing your trust in the right people.
There are other factors you will probably consider in your search such as flexible schedule day care and training in first aid and CPR, but at the end of the day, if you ask yourself “Can I leave my baby with these people and know he or she is safe” and the answer is a resounding “yes”, then you can feel secure in your choice.
Having confidence in your caregiver is vital for making sure your child is comfortable and you are feeling less guilt.
This is vital for you and your child. Bracing yourself emotionally to prepare for what is coming is the best way to get you both through it with a minimum of tears. The first thing to do is try to visit the day care facility ahead of time, before you are expected to drop your child off. This way the unfamiliar can become familiar and you can each get used to the overall feeling of the facility and how it all looks and works.
While you are there, get to know members of the staff and various personnel who work at the day care. Building any relationship with the staff can help the child feel less like they are strangers and more like they are new friends and acquaintances.
Your child may have lots of questions, feel free to answer them in a positive and upbeat manner. You want to reduce any fear or stress your child might have about this new phase in your lives. You might even help to make your child excited and eager to go daycare, explain how he or she might make a lot of new friends there.
The thing to remember here is that your feelings are entirely natural here. Every parent is going to feel some pangs of guilt when it comes to leaving their child with others. Even parents entrusting their care of a child to relatives are bound to feel some kind of guilt.
Seeing your child crying is going to trigger your own waterworks. But blaming yourself for these actions and reactions of your child is only going to make your mental and emotional states even worse.
So, the best way to keep from stressing yourself out is to give yourself a positive pep talk. Knowing you’ve done all that you can do to ensure the safety and happiness of your child is the best way to reaffirm yourself in the positive. Think about why you have had to place your child into day care. You probably have a very good reason for doing it. You have to work to bring in an income to provide for your child. This not only makes you a good parent but a responsible one.
You’ve taken every effort to hire the best day care center in your opinion. You did the research, you checked those references, you made all of the right choices. There is nothing to feel guilty about, you are doing the right thing here.
Keep telling yourself that, remind yourself of these things and you can soon start to feel those guilty feelings subside.
Sometimes those feelings of guilt continue to persist, in some cases they can even become more intense and ongoing. In situations like these, it helps to seek out someone to talk to about these feelings. Turning to professional help to navigate these feelings can be highly beneficial. Don’t feel any stigma about seeking out help either. It’s perfectly normal to want to discuss these feelings with an expert.