If you find yourself welcoming back adult children, who for whatever reason are having to return to live at home, you might be wondering how you’ll cope. A completely new dynamic comes into play and it’s not at all like when they were children. Here are some ways to make life a lot more bearable when your 20 or 30 something child becomes a lodger again:
- Set rules from the outset
Be clear from the start with any rules or expectations so you both know what to expect. Is there a feasible deadline? Will they be able to move out when they have saved up or found a permanent job, for example? Discuss things like rent payments or contributions before they move in. By getting all the important stuff clear from the outset, it will help prevent any bad-feeling, overstepping of boundaries or outstaying their welcome.
- Respect your kids
You might not agree with some aspects of their existence, but if you’re going to live together peacefully, respect their choices and their independence. Just make sure that respect is reciprocal, and you’re not expected to do their laundry!
- Be firm about belongings
If your child has previously lived away from home, they might be expecting to bring everything they own and the kitchen sink with them. Unless you live in a mansion, chances are you’re not going to have the space for additional furniture and wardrobes full of clothing, for example. If they have a lot of stuff, tell them to put into storage or insist on having a good clear out before they return home. For Skip Hire Swansea, visit http://pendragoncarmarthenshire.co.uk/
- Avoid slipping into old habits
It’s easy to slip back into old habits and patterns that reflect life before your kids left home. However, your relationship has evolved. You are not there to serve them and look after them like you did when they were little. You’ll need to establish a new set of rules and interactions, shared duties and more independence for you both.
- Don’t blame yourself or your children
The current economic climate is being incredibly tough on the younger generation. This generation faces far tougher challenges in the job market, getting on the property ladder and paying off student debt than the generations before them. Try not to blame your children or lecture them on how you’d have done things differently – that doesn’t help anyone and will only result in a stressed-out household.